What a Crappy Ballerina Learned About Leadership

You would think that a decade of ballet lessons would have resulted in some degree of skill, but you would be wrong.  I had the heart of a dancer, but not the physical composure.  My arches and back were simply not flexible enough, not to mention I was gangly and awkward.  Eventually I decided to trade the dancer life for that of a normal high school student, which was a hard decision, but the right one given that I was not destined to have a career as a dancer. 

Lest my parents think it was all for naught, I did learn some of the best lessons from my time as a ballerina.  My posture is better than most (I still imagine a string coming out of my head and holding me up straight…), I learned how to treat others with respect, and I learned (after years of staring in full-length mirrors) that the only person I should compare myself to is myself.  These lessons would not have been learned without the array of talented ballet masters under which I studied.  Most of them had danced professionally, and their technical knowledge coupled with stage experience was unparalleled and a true gift to anyone they taught.  Yet I found that I looked forward to classes with some teachers more than others.  I didn’t really know why that was so, but looking back on it now I am starting to understand. 

There was no teacher for whom I worked as hard as Mr. Kelley.  In his classes, I pushed my muscles harder, I stretched further, I jumped higher…and I loved every minute of it.  I walked out of his classes feeling like an elegant swan, instead of the uncoordinated pony that usually took captive of my body when I danced.  It’s not that I was lazy in my other classes.  I was simply not inspired by the other teachers to rise to a higher standard; therefore, I didn’t try as hard.  Mr. Kelley treated me (and all of his students) like a prima ballerina.  He pushed me to dance hard and to the fullest extent, unlocking potential that I did not know was there.  When I was in his class, I knew that I would be held to the highest of standards – but I did not want to disappoint him so I worked as hard as I could.  Even in large classes, he paid attention to each dancer, making corrections when needed and lavishing praise and approval when you made progress or got something right. 

If you were paying attention, the parallels to leadership are hard to ignore.  Thankfully, you don’t have to put on tights and a leotard to learn these lessons.  I will spare you the embarrassment (and the eyes of those around you), and summarize them for you here:

If you want someone to be a leader, then treat them like a leader.  If you treat them as anything less, than you can expect to get less in return.  Tell them they are a leader and they will start to believe you and act accordingly.  Think of a child who is told by loving parents that he can do anything, versus one who is told he won’t amount to anything.  Which one is more likely to succeed? 

Leave your assumptions at the door.  Everyone knows the saying about what happens when you assume, but we all do it anyhow.  One of the worst mistakes I made as a leader was assuming I knew what my team could handle.  Much like my other dance teachers, I didn’t think the team was capable of a certain level of performance, so I never bothered to give them the chance.  Later on, I realized that I was the lid to their potential because I didn’t allow them to show me what they could do.  I may have been right about their capabilities, but the thing that haunts me is that I might have been wrong.

Hold your team to high standards.  Be clear about your expectations, and then hold people to them.  Model the behavior you want to see, and teach them how to live out the standards.  Talk about it often, and then talk about it some more.  Then when they do it right, follow the most important lesson of all…

Be generous with praise.  If you see someone doing something well, praise them!  If you see someone applying and learning from constructive feedback, praise them!  If you see someone stretching outside of their comfort zone, praise them!  Reinforce the behaviors that you want to continue, and do not stop even if you think they have got it under their belt.

While my pointe shoe days may be over, the lessons I learned will stay with me forever. I guess even a crappy ballerina can still learn how to be a swan under the guidance of the right leader. Who will you inspire today?