Who Over What
I spent a good portion of my career fighting for significance, only to realize that proving my own significance was one of the least significant things I could do. I wanted to do something that mattered, but there’s a problem with this mindset. I could work really hard to create or build something meaningful, but whatever it is will likely not go down in history. Andy Stanley once said, “Everything that’s relevant has a shelf life.” That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t work hard, or that the work we are doing is meaningless. But if your significance is tied to a what, then know that it will eventually fade away. There is a way to have a more impactful legacy, and that is by focusing on the who over the what. Leadership expert Craig Groeschel said it well: “Your biggest success might not be something that you do, but it may be someone that you impact.” By taking the focus off of yourself and instead pouring into someone else, you just may find the significance you were looking for. Here are a few ways to get started:
Who can you encourage? Your words cost nothing and a smile is free. We are quick to let people know when we don’t like something, but how about when someone does a good job? Noticing someone and taking the time to say something affirming gives a boost to both you and the other person.
Who can you connect? When you look for opportunities to introduce people in your network, you will find them! You lose nothing by making an introduction. In fact, you gain relational currency by brokering meaningful connections. Here is the secret to making a killer introduction: do it in a way that primes the relationship for success. Explain how you know each person, why they are awesome, and why you think they should meet. Then step back and let them take it from there.
Who can you empower? More than just delegating and getting things off your plate, give someone an opportunity to exercise authority. Craig Groeschel once again offers great wisdom when he says, “If you delegate tasks you will build followers; if you delegate authority you will build leaders.” Letting someone else make decisions does not diminish your power. At one point, someone took a chance on you. Now you can do the same for someone else. They may not get it right 100% of the time, but they will learn far more meaningful lessons by doing rather than watching.
Who can you teach and who can you study? You’ve learned a lot over the years, now don’t keep all that wonderful knowledge to yourself! Teach someone how to do something, share a tip or a hack you have picked up, demonstrate it, and then let them try. Encourage them through the learning curve and celebrate when it clicks. Besides teaching, you should also be teachable. You can learn something from literally anyone, but to have the best education you must be intentional about seeking diversity of thought. Ask questions of different types of people and keep an open mind – the things you learn may surprise you!
With whom can you share your wisdom? If you have been through a difficult time or learned a lesson the hard way, one of the best ways to make it matter is to come alongside someone who is going through a similar experience. Difficulties lose some of their power when you find that you are not alone. Relationship struggles, failures at work, disappointments, financial difficulties – you can make it count if you are willing to be vulnerable about your experience and what you learned from it. Don’t take it personally if they don’t immediately take your advice. Sometimes the best you have to offer someone is to simply be there and not give up on them.
You have so much to offer, even if it doesn’t feel that way. Even if you are just getting started in your career. Even if you don’t think you have done anything all that impressive. Remember, the what is not the thing that is likely to last anyhow. Be kind, generous, and focus on who over what and you may just change the world.